Why Some People Sleep Easily and Why Others Struggle— and How You Can Improve Your Sleep Naturally
- Carolyn Khoo
- Feb 5
- 11 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
Sleep looks simple. You lie down. You close your eyes. You drift off. For some people this happens most nights without much thought.
For others sleep becomes a nightly fight. You feel tired yet wired. You wake at three in the morning with a busy mind. You fall asleep again just before the alarm. Over time this wears down mood, concentration and confidence.
Sleep is shaped by biology, habits, hormones, trauma, mental health and sometimes medication. This guide blends research, real world reports and commonly discussed remedies. You will also see what has and has not helped me personally as someone who has experienced lifelong insomnia.
Who Struggles With Sleep And Who Does Not
Sleep difficulty does not have one cause. Several factors make some people more vulnerable.
Genetics vs Lifestyle choices
Some people naturally fall asleep easily. Others have a more sensitive sleep system. A rare variant of a gene called DEC2 has been linked with shorter natural sleep need in some individuals
This is uncommon and most people who sleep four or five hours a night are simply living under the amount their body needs. If you're not born with the DEC2 gene, daily patterns can strongly influence sleep. Common disruptors include:
Caffeine after mid afternoon
Alcohol near bedtime
Inconsistent sleep and wake times
Bright lighting in the evening
Screen use in bed
Lack of morning daylight
Heavy evening meals
Guidelines suggest seven to nine hours for most adults and around seven to eight hours for older adults
Chronotype and Body Clock
Most people have never heard the term chronotype yet it has a major influence on how well you sleep. A chronotype is your natural timing pattern. Some people feel alert early in the morning. Others come alive later in the day. These patterns are biologically driven rather than lifestyle choices.
Morning types function well with early starts and early nights. Evening types perform better with later schedules. Problems appear when someone is repeatedly forced to live against their natural rhythm. Research shows that evening types who must wake early for work or school often experience poorer sleep quality and higher metabolic risks
It is the mismatch that causes harm. Not the chronotype itself. Trying to turn a natural night oriented person into a morning person through willpower alone often leads to persistent sleep disruption, low mood and chronic tiredness. This is even more pronounced for shift workers who are required to flip their schedule against their internal clock for years at a time
Mental Health Influence
Trauma, anxiety and mood all influence the way the nervous system behaves at night. When the body is on alert, sleep becomes lighter and more easily disrupted.
People who have lived through trauma often experience fragmented sleep. They wake quickly and find it difficult to settle again. Research shows a clear link between trauma symptoms and insomnia severity
Other studies confirm that insomnia is common after serious injury or traumatic experiences
Anxiety, depression and high levels of worry also make sleep more fragile. People who tend to ruminate often find that their thoughts stay active long after their body wants to rest
None of this means insomnia is imagined. It reflects how closely the mind and body influence each other. When one stays alert the other follows.
ADHD and Sleep
Sleep problems are common in people with ADHD and may worsen daytime attention and emotional regulation. For example, one large general population study found that adults with ADHD symptoms had greater odds of insomnia symptoms (OR = 2.66) and short sleep duration (≤ 6 hours) compared to those without ADHD-symptoms
Another study noted that adults with insomnia who also had ADHD showed improvement in ADHD severity when their sleep disorder improved
This means that when you are working with insomnia, considering the possibility of underlying ADHD or attention difficulties might be important. It does not mean every person with insomnia has ADHD, but the overlap is significant enough to merit attention.
Menopause And Sleep
Menopause affects sleep in several ways. Many women notice changes long before their periods stop. These changes can continue for years if left unmanaged. The issue is not simply “getting older”. It is the way fluctuating hormones affect temperature control, mood regulation and the nervous system.
As oestrogen and progesterone decline, the part of the brain that regulates body temperature becomes more reactive. This is why many women wake repeatedly from night sweats or sudden heat surges. Even small increases in temperature can disrupt sleep architecture. Research shows that sleep disturbance is one of the most common symptoms reported during menopause and is closely linked with vasomotor symptoms such as hot flushes
Falling progesterone can also make sleep lighter. Progesterone has a naturally calming effect on the brain. When levels drop the sleep system becomes easier to trigger. Women often describe feeling wide awake in the middle of the night for no clear reason. Studies indicate that menopausal sleep problems are associated with changes in both sleep duration and sleep quality, including more awakenings and reduced deep sleep
Mood changes also play a role. Anxiety, low mood and heightened stress sensitivity become more common in perimenopause which can make sleep more fragile. This creates a cycle where poor sleep worsens mood and mood disruption worsens sleep.
Muscle tension can increase during this period too. Many women hold stress in the jaw, neck and shoulders. These areas activate the alert side of the nervous system. When they remain tight, the brain receives signals that it is not safe to drift into deep rest. Menopause Massage and TMJ focused treatments can support relaxation and help break this loop
Menopause related sleep issues are real and multifactorial. They often require a combination of hormone support, lifestyle adjustments and therapies that calm the nervous system. When these factors are addressed sleep becomes more predictable and the body recovers more effectively.
Did you know A stable wake time has more impact on sleep quality than a strict bedtime. Waking at different times each day disrupts the internal clock even if total sleep hours look similar( https://doi.org/10.5665/sleep.3620 ).
How Much Sleep Do We Need
Most adults function best with seven to nine hours of sleep
A Cambridge led study found that around seven hours appeared optimal for middle aged and older adults
Sleep can also be organised in different ways
A single night time block
Two shorter blocks
A main sleep with a regular nap
Daytime sleep for shift workers
Good sleep is defined less by the clock and more by how you function. If you rely constantly on caffeine, feel drowsy when driving or feel mentally drained, your current sleep routine may not be supporting you.
Did you know People who get less than six hours of sleep show increased activity in brain regions linked with pain sensitivity. This means poor sleep can make everyday aches feel stronger (https://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.3803-16.2017 ).
Common Remedies That People Talk About
There is a long list of popular sleep methods that circulate online and through real life recommendations. Some have small studies behind them. Many rely on personal experience.
Examples include:-
Herbal teas such as chamomile, lemon balm and valerian
Lavender or bergamot essential oils
Weighted blankets
Warm baths before bed
Journalling to clear thoughts
Gentle stretching or yoga
Cooling pillows
Blue light reducing glasses
Soft background noise or sleep stories
Binaural beats in the three to eight hertz range
Digital sunset routines
There are many more such as green light therapy and countless niche methods talked about on forums. There are too many to cover in one article and the evidence for many of them is limited or conflicting. These methods can be helpful additions to a calming evening routine but they should not replace proper treatment when insomnia becomes long term.
Mental Health Therapies For Sleep
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia
CBT for insomnia is one of the most effective non drug treatments for long standing sleep problems.
Research shows improvements in time to fall asleep, time awake during the night and overall sleep efficiency
Digital CBT for insomnia has also shown strong results
CBT for insomnia works by changing habits and beliefs that keep the sleep system activated.
Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is commonly used for sleep although evidence is smaller and less consistent. A meta analysis of non pharmacological sleep treatments suggests potential benefit in some cases
Some people find hypnotherapy recordings calming. Others see no change. I have tried hypnotherapy and it did not improve my sleep, which shows how individual responses are.
Trauma informed therapy
Trauma affects sleep in very specific ways. When someone has lived through traumatic experiences the nervous system often stays alert even when the mind wants to rest. This can show up as light sleep, frequent waking, vivid dreaming, early morning anxiety or a sense of being startled awake for no clear reason. The body behaves as if it is still scanning for danger even when the person is physically safe.
Several studies show a strong link between trauma symptoms and disturbed sleep
People with trauma related stress often show changes in the stress response system that keep them in a state of readiness at night. This is why sleep becomes shallow and fragile. Research also confirms that insomnia is common after serious injury or traumatic events
Because trauma affects both the mind and the body, sleep improvement usually requires addressing the trauma itself rather than focusing on sleep alone. Trauma informed therapies look directly at the underlying experiences that keep the nervous system activated. These approaches include trauma focused cognitive therapy, EMDR and other structured methods that help the brain process what it has been holding.
When trauma is treated, sleep often improves naturally. People describe falling asleep more easily, waking less and feeling calmer at night. These therapies should always be guided by trained professionals because they involve sensitive emotional work.
Medication And Supplements
Medication and supplements for sleep vary in effectiveness and risk.
A recent network meta analysis found that some prescribed medicines offered benefits but each carried side effects that required careful management.
Below are the most commonly discussed options.
Magnesium
Magnesium is widely used for sleep. It plays roles in muscle relaxation and the nervous system.
A review found links between higher magnesium intake and better sleep in observational studies although trial results were mixed
A small pilot trial found improvements in deep sleep and sleep duration in poor sleepers taking magnesium compared with placebo
Many people report feeling calmer with magnesium in the evening. Others feel no change.
Melatonin
Melatonin signals night to the body. Supplements aim to strengthen this signal.
A recent review found modest benefits in some groups but inconsistent improvement in adults with chronic insomnia
A scoping review shows that melatonin can help with sleep onset problems and circadian rhythm disruption
Melatonin is prescription only in the UK
Public opinion is mixed. Some people find it helpful. Others feel groggy or feel no change at all. It did not help me personally.
Medical Cannabis
Medical cannabis refers to cannabis based medicinal products prescribed legally by specialists. This is different from CBD oils and different from illegal cannabis.
Data from the UK Medical Cannabis Registry shows reported improvements in sleep among patients prescribed cannabis based medicines
Experiences vary. Some people fall asleep more easily or feel less anxious at night. Others notice reduced effect over time.
In the UK medical cannabis is available only through specialist doctors
Private clinics such as Releaf and Alternaleaf offer assessments
I plan to write a separate article exploring medical cannabis in the future.
Phenergan
Phenergan is the brand name for promethazine. It is an older antihistamine that causes sedation in many people. Because of this drowsy effect some people use it to help with sleep. It is not a modern sleep medicine and it was not designed to treat insomnia, but it can make some people sleepy enough to fall asleep more easily.
Promethazine has been used for many decades and its sedative effect is well documented. Reviews on antihistamines note that medicines like promethazine may reduce sleep onset time but can also cause next day grogginess, slower reaction speed and a hungover feeling
Other work shows that sedating antihistamines can decrease sleep latency but they do not improve overall sleep architecture or sleep quality in a meaningful way
Promethazine is available in the UK without prescription, but that does not mean it is risk free. It can cause dry mouth, dizziness, confusion and slower thinking, especially in older adults. It can interact with other medicines and is not recommended for people with certain medical conditions. It is also not suitable for chronic use.
Some people say it helps them reset their sleep for a few nights. Others find that the next day sedation outweighs any benefit. Its main value appears to be short term relief rather than a long term solution.
Promethazine should not be used as the sole treatment for chronic insomnia. If someone feels they rely on it regularly to sleep, it is a sign that proper assessment or therapy is needed. It can be one tool but not a cure for ongoing sleep problems.
Other medicines and supplements
People also use valerian, glycine, L theanine and passionflower. Evidence for these varies and is often based on small trials.
Prescribed medicines include short term Z drugs, certain sedating antidepressants and newer orexin medications. These require medical supervision.
My Personal Experience With Sleep
I have lived with insomnia since childhood. I regularly slept fewer than five hours a night. For years I pushed through. Once I reached menopause I could no longer cope. My sleep problems began to affect everything.
I have tried several approaches. Melatonin did nothing for me. Hypnotherapy did not help either. Herbal teas and sleep stories made me feel calmer but did not change my sleep pattern.
Two things made a noticeable difference. Magnesium and legally prescribed cannabis oil. Magnesium eased the physical restlessness that kept me awake. Cannabis oil helped my nervous system settle enough to stay asleep. With both in place I now average around seven hours most nights.
Alongside this I stay consistent with my routine. I keep regular wake times and protect my evenings. I pay attention to upper body tension because I see the same patterns in myself and in my clients
Conclusion
Sleep is shaped by many factors. Biology. Routine. Stress. Trauma. Hormones. Medication. Supplements. Daily patterns. Nervous system activity. There is no single solution that works for every person.
A sustainable sleep plan often includes
Regular sleep and wake times
Support for the nervous system
CBT for insomnia when sleep has been difficult for months
Addressing anxiety or trauma where needed
Upper body treatments that calm the head, neck and jaw
Magnesium or melatonin where appropriate
Medical cannabis where assessed by specialists
Optional calming tools such as teas, aromatherapy, gentle stretching or journalling
Real progress usually comes from combining several small changes consistently rather than relying on one thing.
References
Recommended Amount of Sleep for a Healthy Adult. Sleep. 2015
Choi K et al. Efficacy of melatonin for chronic insomnia. Sleep Medicine Reviews. 2022
Arab A et al. The Role of Magnesium in Sleep Health. Nutrients. 2022
Breus M et al. Effectiveness of Magnesium Supplementation on Sleep Quality. Medical Research Archives. 2024
Trauer J et al. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Chronic Insomnia. Sleep Medicine Reviews. 2015
Sweetman A et al. Digital CBT for Insomnia versus Digital Sleep Education. Internal Medicine Journal. 2024
Yue JL et al. Efficacy and tolerability of pharmacological treatments for insomnia in adults. Sleep Medicine Reviews. 2023
Aggarwal A et al. UK Medical Cannabis Registry clinical outcomes for insomnia. PLOS Mental Health. 2025
Klugherz LJ et al. Pharmacological Treatments for Insomnia. Current Sleep Medicine Reports. 2023
Baglioni C et al. Non pharmacological treatments for insomnia. Journal of Clinical Medicine. 2020
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